I told my friend Carrie a few months ago that I was so torn as to whether or not I was going to see the next installment of the Transformers in theaters. I couldn't decide if I wanted to give more money to the cash cow that is Michael Bay because it frustrates the crap out of me the way he makes these huge blockbusters that make SO.MUCH.MONEY. and are SO BORING as far as story goes. However, he's just so dang good at blowing crap up and it looks awesome on the big screen in 3D. These are the quandaries I allow my brain to fixate on. When my sweet 8 year old cousin Jack was visiting my parents' home in Columbus over the July 4th holiday he apparently told his mom "Transformers. Oh yeah, me and Amanda." Who could say no to such an adorable request, especially when I just needed a little nudge to justify spending $13.50 to see this movie in 3D at an AMC (sheesh! I love the Alamo!) You see, this is what Jack and I do together. We go and see big blockbusters that we know are going to have a ton of action and are going to look really cool, and they're always movies I'm on the fence about seeing because I know that the story line is going to suck. However I was pleasantly surprised after we saw Avatar and Tron together so I thought...maybe I'll be surprised??

Heh...

I remember going to the theater and seeing Transformers Revenge of the Fallen and having low expectations. I walked out of the theater still disappointed with how terrible it was. My hopes were again not high for this film.

I have to say, it was pretty bad story wise. However it was better than Revenge of the Fallen. There were some dynamic plot points that had me wondering what was going to happen next. I mean, I could guess what was going to happen next, but at least I was wondering. The 3d was great, but there's just only so much falling and flailing and blowing stuff up one can take. I think Shia and his buddies fell/flew inside this one building for ten minutes of the movie. I'm not even exaggerating.

Let's talk about Shia. Oh Shia. Did anyone else notice that opening scene where everyone's at NASA in the '60s and one of the main guys there was Shia's dad from Even Stevens? He was basically just an extra in this film! How awkward is that? "Hey remember that time you played my dad on the Disney Channel? Oh yeah, I'm making a lot more money than you now. Thanks for helping me get my career started." I only wish they would have been in a scene together. That would have been so amazingly awkward.

And then of course we have the lack of Megan Fox who bit the rich, arrogant hand that fed her (Michael Bay) and was fired. So they replaced her with a Victoria's Secret model who was actually worse than Megan Fox. Who knew that person existed? Sheesh, MB, you have millions of dollars at your disposal, most of which had to be from Cisco and GM for all of the terribly awkward product placement. You have the cash to hire someone who's at least somewhat legit and you hire her? What did you pay your women with? Bronzer and frozen water? All she did was stand in front of a gold reflector with pouty lips the entire film. She was also half naked/changing clothes a lot. I loved how the first shot we had of her was of her heiney as she walked up the stairs with undies that didn't exactly cover everything. Literally the camera was a few inches below her butt for like 10 seconds. I mean, seriously? I nudged the old guy next to me and told him that's what my ass would look like too if I had a gold reflector following me around all the time. No I didn't, but that would have been funny.

The 3d was awesome but I felt that it could have been more effective. There's this part where Josh Duhamel was flying out of a helicopter and I really felt that with all of home girl's butt we girls had to look at jealously for two hours they could have at least had Joshy flying towards us in 3D instead of away from us. I mean, give me something to compliment you on Michael Bay. SOMETHING.

All in all, I'm glad I got to see stuff being blown up for over two hours with my cousin Jack. It was great bonding time and I hope that this tradition of seeing action movies with baller 3d continues.